Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My Jerry Springer day

We've all had one of those days, you know, You're life feels like a cartoon, well unfortunately my life feels this way all the time. We've also all had a "Jerry Springer" day. Don't pretend don't know what I'm talking about. You've had a day where there is some weird, loud, and totally inappropriate for public event in your life.

My Springer day came while I was in San Antonio in AIT for the Army. I was a good looking kid, I mean ripped like a wrestler and big like a football player with All american good looks. You've seen a soldier they all pretty much look alike. Along with these good looks I was cocky I thought I could have any girl I wanted and at any time. For the most part, this was true.

Army girls were a little too easy so i liked to mostly only dabble in the locals. There was this girl, her name was K and she was a tall blonde haired blue eyed bombshell. She played me like a fiddle. Looking back on it it was all kind of silly but I was so pissed off at the time. We hooked up a few times but she really wanted nothing to do with me. She invited me and another guy to a club (yeah I was a douche that went to clubs). I didn't know she had invited the other guy and she kinda publicly blew me off for this guy. That's not really the story though, I'm spending too much time on K.

The real story starts with her friend J she was hot, half irish half native american and curvier than sports car test track. I got blown off by K so The only logical thing my stupid little 19 year old mind could think to do was fuck her friend and roommate. Technically I went home with K that night. I fucked her roommate six ways from tuesday. I made sure K could hear it all.

I found out later that J was a good catholic girl. She had gone to private all girl schools all of her life, and of course I had taken her virginity. It was kind of sad that she had to lose her virginity to an asshole that was just using her to piss off another girl. J was kinda cool but a little too naive for me. I was sure this was going to be a one and done thing. She had different ideas. I guess she thought we were now dating, unbenounced to me. We hung out a couple of times in the coming weeks but I didn't really care about her at all. She was just a little creepy.

I blew her off the following weekend. I told her I was going to just stay in and try to get some studying done. In my defense I did plan on studying. It just didn't happen. I ended up going to my buddy Chad's house to study that weekend. Nothing happened that weekend that resembles studying. Within about Ten minutes we had broken open a bottle of VOX and had a few martinis. his wife's little sister was in town and we had a good time that weekend. That's a story I'll tell you tomorrow.

Sunday we decided to stumble out of the house in our drunken haze and go out to the river walk for lunch. We ended up at some steak joint. On our way back through the mall I see J coming down the escalator. She sprinted down the escalator in a time that very well may have been a world record. My buddy chad's wife was standing next to me. She proceeds to lay into me and Chad's wife Kristina thinking we were together. Kristina was a super nice girl but she wasn't going to put up with some ignorant bullshit. I swear to you, this girl was screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs in the middle of the mall She just kept yelling "you fucking liar." Eventually I get her calmed down and just keep assuring her we'll talk about it later and we don't need to make a scene. She decided to shoot an evil look at kristina once again. This was her last straw. All I heard was "fuck you bitch." and then a cartoon ball of hair and claws. There were at least 5 large adult male soldiers there and it took us at least 10 minutes to break up this fight. Kristina beat the shit out of this girl. She made her Ugly.

We got out of that mall as fast as humanly possible. On the way home I was trying to talk to kristiana's little sister kat, who I had hooked up with the night before. She refused to say a word to me. I assumed she was pissed about the way I had treated that girl, Wrong. She was pissed I didn't just tell J off and tell her I was There with her. What the fuck. you just can't win with women. You're an asshole, and chicks think they're on springer in the middle of a mall. You're nice, and they just blow you off. I don't get it. I was actually kinda excited about Kat. I knew she lived in D.C. and that I was moving there in a month or so. She was really cool. Her being a bitch about it all kinda turned me on. She was pissed I didn't just tell another girl to fuck off for her. I liked this. It didn't work out, obviously, at least I got to hook up with her at a wedding a year or so later.

I guess I should have been more careful about who I put my penis inside

Sunday, August 19, 2007

What the hell is the pope thinking

Normally I keep my nose out of religious events and the going ons of whatever people decide to believe. This being said I want everyone to know how irresponsible I think the pope is.

I grew up a hard-core practicing catholic, to the point where there is a pretty high profile pro-life award named after my grandfather. I don't go to church too often any longer and I generally don't care what goes on. Recently Rome released a document signed by the pope that in essence declares that the catholic church is the only one true church and that other churches don't have the "keys to salvation" or in essence they're now taking the Pentecostal stance that everyone else is going to hell.

Generally I don't have a problem with them saying that the catholic church is the one true church. I've reasoned that if there is such a thing as one true church of God I honestly believe it's either the Jews or the catholics. The jews, because no matter what christian religion you belong to it's almost universally accepted that the jews are "God's chosen people". The catholics, because They're the only Christian religion who has a direct lineage to Jesus Christ, and the only church That would have the power of the priesthood, or The responsiblilty to act on christ's behalf on earth. I believe he bestowed the priest hood on Peter, who was essentially the first catholic pope.

What I do have a problem with is the undoing of all the work of pope john paul 2. While he was pope There was so much progress made in helping to unite christian religions of the world. I think the point of what the one true church is, becomes a moot point when such an irresponsible comment is made by a man who is supposed to be infallible in matters of morality. I have a hard time believing that God, Assuming there is a God, would be vindictive and would hold people accountable for the fallibility of man. Especially the ability of men to sway the thoughts of others. If you've been a person, An honest, hard working person who have lived their lives with a proper code of ethics, you're not going to hell, whether you have "the keys to salvation" or not.

While I understand in the grand scheme of the world I'm not all that important and I really have no right to question the pope. What I can say, though, is that I think the pope needs to understand his awesome responsibility in leading the worlds largest religion. Making such an inflammatory comment after so much work has been done to unite christian religions is purely and simply irresponsible.

I'm afraid that my church is starting to leave me behind. I'm thinking about becoming a Jew for Jesus. No seriously. look it up.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Inspection time

Sorry about the lack of posts lately, not that it really matters all that much, according to blog patrol I really only have three or so regular readers. That doesn't matter to me though. I just write as a release.

Our lab is gettting ready for our CAP inspection. This inspection occurs every four years and they give you plenty of notice. That would lead me, and any normal person to believe we'd have plenty of time to prepare, right?

Evidently, my superiors seem to think it's okay to wait till the last moment to get ready for everything. For example, The floors have somehow become the most important thing in the world. The need to be scrubbed and waxed. I can't explain why it seems to be such an important thing. I can't see a lab being shut down because the floors aren't shiney.

In most places scrubbing and waxing a floor isn't too big of a chore. it can be done in a night. you just clear everything out in the middle of the night and go to work. In a lab, we don't shut down, EVER especially with the doctors who have become increasingly dependent upon lab test as primary means of diagnosis. As important as I Think lab work is I still think that it should be only a means of verifying a diagnosis. As a side note if you go to the doctor and they run a battery of seemingly random tests, They probably have poor diagnosis skills and generally have no idea what's wrong with you. Now, back on topic. The lab managers have decided that they'll get the floor done during second shift, They'll block off an area and try to scrub and wax the floor one small chunk at a time. The only problem is that there are parts of the lab that are vital and have to be accessed all the time. The solution, walk on wet soapy floors while they're scrubbing the floors and then relocate you're entire work station while they wax. Normally I don't bitch if I don't have a better solution, but this time I will. What a waste of time energy and money.

All of this could have been avoided if we were run a little more like the much maligned military. I know this will be a pretty revolutionary concept but here goes. Everyone should clean up their own area and their own mess. Phew, there I said it. I think the earth may shake. Lord knows you don't ask someone with an education to clean. In the army it doesn't matter how well educated you were. You cleaned your own damned area. I hate having to coddle people and worry about whether I've offended them or not. I may actually hate when people worry about offending me more though.

I think I've come to a realization about myself this last week while the computers at work have been down intermitanly. I hate lazy people a whole lot more than incompetent people. At least I can tell an incompetant person to sit in the corner and fiddle their thumbs and be okay with it. A lazy person sucks because you can't really tell them to sit in a corner, They'll get all uppity saying... I know how do all this, don't tell me what to do.

One more side note. Hopefully work will become a little more bearable for me. They're kind of screwing me over but it's better than What I'm doing now. There is a part time position in micro that I've accepted with a higher rate of pay. In order to keep my full time status and benefits I still have to work my current job for the other half of the week. In order to keep my full time hours, though They're making me work at two different rates of pay. How jacked up is that? is that even legal?

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I came across this yesterday:

Doulglas W. Bel Jr.

Douglas Warren Bel Jr., 71, Bolivar, went to be with the Lord on Thursday, Dec. 30, 1999. He was born Aug. 15,1928, in Springfield to Douglas Warren and Margaret Kelly Bel and was married Sept. 6, 1952, to Carolyn Ann Conrad. Doug served more than19 years in the U.S. Navy, during which he graduated from Officer's Candidate School and served tours of duty in the Korean and Vietnam wars. He ended his military career at the rank of lieutenant. He also was a graduate of the Maritime Institute of Technology and Graduate Studies, where he earned his captain's license. He was a retired merchant marine. Always one to encourage and guide his family, especially by example, Doug was a firm believer in the lifelong pursuit of knowledge. He had completed the course of study of surveying. He also had several years of study at the university level, working toward becoming a financial planner. Doug was an active member of Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Bolivar. He was also a secular Franciscan and a fourth degree member of the Knights of Columbus. However, what he would most want his family, friends and all who knew him to remember about him was his spirit-filled belief in the sanctity of life for everyone, especially for those unborn. He was preceded in death by his parents; his first wife, Donna; their infant daughter; two brothers and one sister. He is survived by his loving wife of 47 years, Carolyn; nine children, Kryschell Bel of Bolivar, Laura and her husband, Randy Lips, of Tickfaw, La., Douglas W. Bel III and his wife, Jenny, of Eugene, Ore., Denise and her husband, Max Baer, of Bolivar, Teresa and her husband, Thomas Gidus, of Oviedo, Fla., Matthew Bel of Bolivar, Mary and her husband, Frank Lopinto, of Amite, La., Frances and her husband, Kenny Haralson, of Bolivar, Patricia and her husband, Robert Price, of Bolivar; 33 grandchildren; and two sisters, Imeldia Bunselmeyer of Ozark, Ala., and Carolina Decker of Republic. Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance (James 1:2). This is how he lived his life and would want those who loved him to also live.

It's the Obituary for my gradnfather. He's the man I most looked up to and he's the man I've always been most worried about being dissapointed in me. The saddest part of it all is that my son will never get to know the greatest influence in my life. I don't know how I'll be able to compare to this man when it comes to raising my little boy. I hope I can be half the man he was.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Why I'm such an ass.

A lot of people ask me why I'm so cocky and such an asshole. They wonder why I think I'm so much better than my coworkers, and why, if I hate my job so much I don't do something else. I don't have a really good explanation for any of it. What I am going to do is give you a brief review of the last year and a half of my life. Hopefully, this will clarify why I write the way I do.

I left Utah after divorcing my first wife. (I'll talk about that later). I moved back to my hometown with a great job in hand. It was pretty much the perfect job for me. It's what I went to school for, I had lots of experience, and I was set to make about 60 grand a year. That's a lot of money for the area in the Midwest I live in. This was the perfect chance to start my life over and I was still young enough to really enjoy life and put the past behind me.

The first six months of my life back home were amazing I was supervising a small lab at a blood bank, making more money than I knew what to do with and working prime hours (from 2 till 10) There was more than enough time for me to get off work and go party, especially considering my favorite watering hole was just across the street, and within walking distance of my apartment.

I made new friends left and right, got in touch with old friends, and always had enough money to buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I was still going to the gym, I looked great, I felt great, everything in my life was perfect. exactly what I pictured five years ago in school. I could have any girl I wanted, and more often than not went home with any girl I wanted. I was hanging out with models and partying like a rock star. To top it all off I even loved my job.

This all came to an end in basically one day. I went to the lake with a friend over a holiday weekend and got hammered beyond anything half-way reasonable. I drank on the way there, I drank in the sun all day, and I even cracked open a few beers in the way home. I realize this was horribly irresponsible and reckless, but I thought I was invincible. I made it all the way home on ridiculously curvy roads and decided I was going to Toast God for allowing me to make it home safely. I make it to my favorite watering hole and see a closed sign, shit! What am I going to do now. Most responsible people would call this a sign and say go home and sleep it off. Oh no... not me. I took this a symbol from God to finally go exploring the bars of downtown. I found an upscale martini bar and spent the rest of the night drinking $40 a shot Johnny Walker blue label. My tab ended up being about $1000 bucks. I talked to and hit on every over the hill, used to be hot, wanna be socialite I could find.

The night came to an end and I thought it was a good idea to drive even though I don't really know if I had an understanding of where I was or what I was doing. I ended up passing out in my car and running into a huge granite sign in the middle of a cemetery. I don't remember how I even got there. The cemetery was on the other side of town and nowhere near my apartment. I honestly believe it's a miracle that I am alive. I hit a 5000lb granite sign head on, it broke in half with one piece slamming into the driver's side door pinning that door shut. When the police arrived I was conscious and outside the car. even though no one can seem to explain how I got out of the car. my door was pinned shut and the passenger side was shut and locked.

The police gave me the option of going to jail or to the hospital. I chose to go to the hospital. They talked with me for awhile, and even called my family for me. when they were going through my wallet looking for an ID they found my old military ID and and old military insurance card. They asked if I was still in. I said no. They asked about my time in Iraq. I didn't give them many details, just that I'd been back for about a year. They said Thank you for your service. That comment kinda pissed me off, I thought they were patronizing me. They weren't. I actually got out of about 9 tickets that night and a DUI. Thank you officer Parks.

I went back to work a short time later and was told I no longer had a job. I asked why, and was told that I violated a character clause in my contract. I was working for a non-profit organization that had a reputation to keep. They told me they found out about the alcohol involved in the accident because of myspace. I know... how dumb. I wrote a post about how how I felt after the accident and how disappointed I was in myself.

A friend of mine at the time who was going to school about three hours away came down the next weekend to take care of me. She was a good friend, and now an even better mother for my child. That's right. I knocked a girl up the weekend after all this. So here I was, jobless, moneyless (I didn't save a penny), and about to be a father. The organization I had worked for had contracts with all the local hospitals. I couldn't even get an interview anywhere for the longest time, despite being overqualified and having a a letter of recommendation from the surgeon general of the army.

I was blackballed.

The only job I could get that I could make immediate cash was waiting tables or bar tending. I worked several jobs waiting and bar tending for the next few months. Until my ego got the better of me. I thought to myself; I'm too well educated to be waiting tables, and having redneck pieces of crap talk to me the way they did. This was probably the low point in my entire life. I was living in a shitty apartment that only had a bed and a t.v. with no cable. I would make money that night and spend every dime I had getting drunk trying to forget how much my life sucks. All the while, I still had a baby on the way.

I was an alcoholic piece of shit.

I quit waiting tables and started stocking shelves for minimum wage. (Huge improvement, I know.) It was a little better at least I didn't have cash to waste at the bar. Eventually someone gave me an interview. I've never interviewed for a job that I haven't been offered. This was no different. I started working at this hospital about seven months ago and I hate it. I hate it because I went from having a secretary to being a glorified secretary (I'm not kidding myself I'm a glorified secretary, I shuttle specimens to the appropriate departments and get pissed on all day long). I went from having everything to not being able to buy a new pair of shoes for myself. I went from partying all night. to staying up all night trying to get my little boy to sleep. I hate it but I can't quit.

I'm not bitching so much as I'm just informing. I have no one to blame but myself for everything that happened. In reality, I can't complain. One day I woke up and basically stopped drinking and smoking and being a worthless loser, because of one thing. My little boy, When he was about seven months along something clicked. He probably saved my life. I don't know where I'd be without him.

No I don't like my job. I'm overqualified for it, but it doesn't matter. It's my fault that I never took my lab certification test. and it's my fault that I tarnished my image enough so that I couldn't get a call back for a job interview. hopefully, This explains my arrogant attitude a little. I've gone from having anything and everything I could want to having to choose between a new pair of shoes for work or baby toys, I've chosen baby toys every time.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Where's the service

Before we begin I just want to let eveyone know how much I love the show "Rock of Love". Usually I hate anything reality based, but it's easily my favorite t.v. show in recent memory. Brett Michaels has to be the most straight forward rock star in history.

That being said I'd like to make a little proposal. I think that every healthcare professional should have to spend a year waiting tables. It's just weird to me to work with so many people that have an inflated sense of self worth, even people with little or no education seem to believe they are irreplaceable. It's almost comical to see how important everyone thinks their job is, no matter how menial the task.

I guess I'm not sure if I learned this in the Army or waiting tables, but somewhere down the line I've learned that "You're just not that important." and you can be replaced pretty easily. If I hear one more person say "It's not my job" when they are asked to do something well within the scope of their abilities, I may just blow my brains out. When did it become so difficult to just do you're damned job?

This rant comes from an incident that happened a few weeks ago. There is a section of our hospital that deals with outpatient labs and it closes at 8 p.m. Evidently everyone ceases to be able to help anyone at this point. I received a phone call at about 830 one night from one of the urgent care facilities in the area saying they had a 3 year old that had been bitten by a tick and they were wanting to do a Panel of tests normally associated with tick bites but were unable to draw his blood. They wanted to know if they could send her up to us and see if we could stick her. Normally we'd send this patient down to our outpatient area, but being that it was past 800 we couldn't. I told them to go to the E.R. and have them register her as an outpatient and send her up to the lab with explicit instructions not to let them register her as an E.R. patient, otherwise she'd be sitting there for hours, and she'd be charged for an E.R. visit. At about 10:00 I get a call from the same urgent care, saying, "the patient was still waiting in the E.R". It's asinine to wait an hour and a half just to get some blood drawn from an obviously sick child. I call the E.R. and ask for registration trying to figure out what happened. I get some nameless retarded they've hired and ask her what's going on. Her response was this; "Oh that's not my job I'm just here to register E.R. patients." So I ask are you able to do it? She says "yes". So I question her as to why she didn't just do it. her response once again was "It's not my job. I decide to end the phone call by telling her to just send the patient up to the lab and we'll take care of it. I ask "is it your job to talk to patients, are you going to be able to do that alright. I know it'll be hard to get out of your chair, but please, just this once?"

At 11 (when I'm supposed to go home I start wondering if she ever made it up to the lab to be taken care of. I call the E.R once again and ask if she's down there. Evidently someone in the lab (I later found out it was the piddler.) told her she had to go back to the E.R. Eventually I convince someone to hand the phone to the patient's mother and I tell them to come back to the lab and I'll personally take care of it. She makes it up to the lab and I grab one of our registration girls, right as she's leaving, and explain the situation. She doesn't really know how to register her, but the one bright moment of the day for me was when she said "I'm not sure how, but I know I can at least figure it out." It takes her all of about five minutes after calling someone else to find out how. We take her to have her blood drawn and she's out in ten minutes.

Everyone has seemingly lost what the idea of customer service means. Hospital's have adopted this attitude that as long as they're not bleeding right now they'll be fine to wait until we decide to get around to you. Unfortunately most people don't have alot of other options and they can get away with this kind of crap. This poor lady with a three year old who is visibly sick has to wait for two hours just to get blood drawn so she can wait another three days for results? It just doesn't make sense to me. She waited purely because of other people's laziness.

I don't deal with a lot of patient care but in the few instances I do want to treat people the same way I would hope they'd treat my grandma. It's almost sad When I rush and make sure a patient gets in and out of the phlebotomy room as soon as I can, and they seem amazed that they could go anywhere in the hospital and be in and out in fifteen minutes. All it takes is someone just going a little out of their way. I'm a firm believer in Karma and that it doesn't only effect you. Every time you pass some old lady broken down on the side of the road, every time you pass a beggar, every time a friend asks for help and you're "Too busy", Is one more time you're grandma will get passed by, or you're friends and family who are having a hard time won't get help. I try to live by the mantra that If I do my best to help someone, that favor will be returned, either directly to me or to my family that can't help themselves. What if my girlfriend and My little boy broke down on the side of the road and no one would go out of their way to help?