Why I'm in trouble at work

So I get a dirty little note in my mailbox at work today. Normally I don't even look at them, They go straight into the recyclable bin. (Yes, I try to do my part to save the environment so long as it doesn't require any real work.) I ignore them because 99.99999% of the time it's just silly stuff. In most cases it takes longer to write the note than it does to actually fix the problem. Today, I read it. It was about two paragraphs long and it detailed the fact that I told someone to draw an incorrect specimen for a particular test.

There are a few things you need to know about me. I don't like to be told I did something wrong. I'm able to recognize I'm not perfect, but I make few, if any errors at work. Secondly, I do not tolerate condescension in any way shape or form. Lastly, I'm confident that I won't get fired. I'm just too valuable. I'm so ridiculously overqualified for my job that it's not funny. So I do and say what I please.

I decided to confront the person about the note. What it all boils down to, is that I gave someone the specimen requirements for something they ordered. Evidently the nurse ordered it incorrectly, yet some how it's my fault. I guess I should have known what she meant.

This woman that works the day shift thinks she's in charge. She's been here forever and her word is taken for scripture amongst the people that work in the client services department of our lab. I couldn't care less what she thinks.

Our conversation went roughly like this

KD: The doctor wanted PCR added to this test. It has to have a different specimen. Now, because of you, we have to stick the patient again.

Me: My first point is you have no real idea what's going on. It's not my job to magically know that the doctor wants something other than what was ordered by the nurse. Secondly, PCR isn't something that's done in addition to a test, it's the methodology for the test. Do you know what methodology even means?"

(A side note: PCR stands for polymerase chain reaction. Very simply put it's a methodology in which the DNA of whatever you happen to be looking for, is replicated then amplified in vitro so that you can more easily identify substance in low concentrations in blood.) Wikipedia explains it better HERE

Me: If you don't even understand what the test is, or what it's for, how exactly are you going to lecture me about it?

KD: I was just trying to help I thought you might like to know what you needed to do in cases like these.

Me: If you compare the two of us, only one of us has an education who is more likely to know what's actually going on with a test? That's right, me. If you really want to be helpful, you can tell me how to seem to know everything so that I can know everything too.

KD: Well it's not as if I can make a list of every test we've ever done and copy the specimen requirements for it.

Me: Of course you can't, I just want to know you source of information because we both know you're not smart enough to memorize all that information.

KD: you don't have to be rude.

Me: Evidently, people around hear don't take me seriously when I'm nice so I guess I have to be an asshole in order for people to listen to me.

I know she's not intelligent enough to memorize even the simplest detail. I really want to know where she gets her information for all of these obscure tests no one has ever heard of. I'm damned sure it's just that she has the phone number of the reference lab we use. They actually staff people during the day time. If I try to call after five all I get is an answering service. I want to show her up and prove this theory, but it's not worth me coming to work during the day. I'm pissed that she has everyone convinced she's so good at her job. She doesn't want anyone to know the source of her information so she just tells our bosses that she searched and searched and just happened to find all the right information. She couldn't let everyone else in on the big secret, she wouldn't be nearly as valuable.

I got called into the bosses office and got another slap on the wrist and told not to "rock the boat". I was reminded how long she'd been here and that I didn't need to be rude when I address people. Of course there was no mention of the fact that I'm the only competent person that works in my section. I guess it's an unsaid truth that allows me to keep my job. Man if I didn't have a family to support I'd quit today.