Work and pickup basketball

In a game of pickup basketball players there are some players you just want to avoid checking at all costs. We have the sweat hog, the big fat sweaty guy who always seems to be "skins", The dirty old man, The guy with all the tricks like kneeing you in the thigh as you blow past, The marathon runner, you'll be running up and down the court all day trying to keep up with this rabbit, and the worst of all, The guy who tries too hard. You know, the guy who's hustling way too much, recklessly throwing his body around for some mythical pickup basketball championship of the world. Lately my hospital has become this guy.

At first this guy seems like a guy you want on your team, you admire his hustle and enthusiasm until you realize how useless this hustle and enthusiasm is with a lack of talent. My hospital is like this guy. They seemingly trying so hard to make a positive work environment. In reality, all they're doing is creating new, even dumber surveys and trying to find solutions to unimportant problems.

I wrote about the last survey I did, being sure to include how stupid the questions and how poorly we scored in certain areas. I'd like to expand on that a little. We just got back letters about how they'd like to improve these "problems".

1. I have a best friend at work

Solution: From now on, we'll all make an effort to to celebrate each other's birthday, and to celebrate it outside of work. As many co-workers as possible will make an attempt to attend these celebrations.

This is practically a direct quote. I just can't understand, with all the problems hospitals face that this is genuinely a concern that needs any time spent on it at all.

2. In the last seven days I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.

Solution: Administrators will make more of an effort to verbalize a "good job". Lunch passes will be handed out for doing a good job, error free weeks.

Are you shitting me? Am i in 3rd grade again? Am i the only person who recognizes this as a waste of time for administrators to take time out of their busy days to tell me "good job"? The only praise I need is my pay check every two weeks. Secondly, can they really expect to bribe me with food. Is this like a teacher giving a student a piece of candy for getting an answer right in math class.

I think all this crap was was initially a good thing, just like the hustle of a no talent jack-hole who plays pick-up basketball. It's all turned out to be annoying so much so that you're ready to crack the guy's jaw because that last flailing elbow just hit you right in the solar plexis.