I've had my ups and downs with women. While I was in the army I was hot. I'm not being conceited but I was ripped and I basically could have any girl I wanted. Well at least that's what I thought.
I think the fondest memories I have in my entire life are probably the time I spent in D.C. doing my clinicals at Walter Reed. Everything seemed to go exactly as planned. I was happy and healthy and always entertained. I met a girl her name was heather. We had the perfect relationship. We basically spent the entire weekend together, never saw one another during the week and always had a good time. What made it even more perfect was that neither of us wanted to label the relationship. We were in sort of a limbo. I could date other people freely, as could she, but we were always a priority for one another. Everything was perfect. Until one day.
*I'd like to donate the following conversation to VH1's "The pickup artist" as something you shouldn't say.
Her: Hey I wanna talk, got a minute?
ME: Sure What's up?
Her: I've been thinking alot lately and I feel the need to tell you something.
I think I love you
Me: That's nice. I really like you. I bet we feel the same way about one another but I think I just hold the word love in higher esteem than you. I really care alot about you but I can't say I love you.
Her: silence... Ummm I meant I loved you as a friend.
The damage that I did here was two fold. First I told her I didn't care about her as much as she seemed to care about me. Which after alot of thought ended up being a bold faced lie on my part. I probably did love her. I just loved my freedom alot more. I got greedy thinking I could have any girl I wanted. The second Jab came by me basically telling her she didn't know her own emotions how can I quantify her feelings? Basically what I said was stupid. I wish I could take it back but I can't. I hurt someone I really did care about just so I could look cool and keep dating other people when in reality I didn't want to date anyone else. Nothing would have changed we already had a great physical and emotional connection. Oh well what can ya do.
We made a vain attempt at a friendship but it didn't last long. I made one last failed attempt to make it right but in doing so I just made it more clear what an ass I was. She was scheduled to go out with another guy that weekend but cancelled for me. He was a good guy who really deserved a good girl like her and vice versa not an asshole like me. I scheduled a trip to mount vernon in D.C. and then dinner and theatre tickets. The dinner ended up being a little more romantic than I had anticipated. All I could do is keep reminding her that we're just here as friends, and say I'm sorry everything about everything I didn't mean to make it look like I was trying to win your affection back. When in reality that all either of us wanted.