Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Anal Sex

That's right, I said "anal sex". This story is about ptbg, and her possible love affair with anal sex. The conversation started innocently enough. I was basically bitching as usual. This time about an unnecessary change. Is it just me or have you noticed that every time you get a new boss they have a tendency to change things just for the sake of change? This time someone thought it would be brilliant to have everyone in my section rotate jobs every 2 and a half hours. There is no point to this. The conversation went something like this.

Me: "This destroys my continuity of work. It doesn't seem like it's be a big deal but it takes several minutes to log out of this computer then log into the next computer and to try and convey to the next person what I'm doing. This is a worthless change"

Piddler: "How do you know you won't like it unless you try it?" (Mind you this system is perfect for the piddler. She'll be able to constantly look busy just by moving around.)

Me: Well I don't like anal sex and I don't have to try that to know I don't like it.

ptbg: "I love anal sex... but only when my husband does it." (yeah I know wtf... who shares information like this)

Things kind of got quiet after she said that, and remained so for the rest of the night. I'll admit that what I said was highly inappropriate. But seriously, would you just volunteer your love of anal sex to coworkers you've known for maybe 2 months? I didn't think so.

About a week later I made some off color joke about a stool specimen sitting on the counter, and ptbg proceeds to inform me how disgusting she thinks I am. Then, I proceed to tell her that after the anal sex comment she's lost her right to distinguish the difference between what is and isn't disgusting. She goes on to defend her love of anal sex for the next week or so. Bringing her profession of love for anal to about two weeks long.

The next week she decides go on a rant about using the lord's name in vain. As a side note; When I have nothing left to say about a particular subject I say, "Well at least Jesus still loves me" I understand that it's making a mockery of what is supposed to be an all encompassing love but I'm not really bothered by that fact. Back to the point. I got a little tired of her rant and retorted; "You realize that God frowns upon sodomy, right?" She replied with a curt, I'm not a sodomite. To which I replied. You realize Sodomy and anal sex are the same thing right. She responded with a look of disgust and then panic as she either realized her mistake or had realized that she needed to cover up what she had said earlier. Oh my God, No! I got confused, I thought you meant oral. I really love oral not anal, That's disgusting.

This shows me one of two things.

1. She's a liar that will lie simply to avoid looking bad or

2. She's really just THAT stupid.

I honestly believe that she's now just trying to cover up, but if she really is that stupid, as she's like to lead us to believe, it would make me wonder if she's mentally handicapped. Honestly, how, as a forty something year old woman, who works in the medical field, no less, not understand the difference between oral and anal sex? It beats the hell out of me.

I could just be judging her too harshly, maybe she's been a stay at home mom for too long, Do people this naive/stupid really exist?