Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Christmas Fun

I'll start off by reminding everyone how much I hate Christmas. It's all so fake. I'm not nice the other 364 days (365 in a leap year), why should I pretend to be nice on Christmas? For those of you that are politically correct, it's the holiday season and not Christmas. I think the political shit is enough for me to hate the whole damned month of December.

That little rant aside, I need to let the world know something. If one more fucking person asks me to donate money for some cause, or for a needy co-worker, or buffing Santa's ass, I'm going to go bat-shit crazy. Everyone seems to have their hand out during the holidays. Let me let you in on a little secret. Yes, I have a degree from a great university, but no, I don't use it, I'm stuck in a mindless, processing job because a job that utilizes my skills hasn't opened up and because I've made a few mistakes along the way. I only made $25,000 last year. Granted I live in the Midwest where the cost of living is manageable, but still, I'm fucking poor. With no goevernment assistance, I don't let the government buy my food and formula.

The last three requests I received were understandable, but still undo able. Someone at work approached me about donating money for our housekeeper. I'd like to be able to help, but in the grand scheme of things, We probably made about the same amount of money. The biggest exception, is that I have three mouths to feed while she has just herself.

The second request was for my boss, She put up a lien on her house so that her husband could open a restaurant that didn't pan out. She just lost her house in kind of a messy ordeal and they are having to go through a bankruptcy, She is 40 and now has no retirement. Again, I'd love to help, but I still remind myself that she makes at least $60,000 per year, I'm not in a position to help someone making 2 1/2 times what I make.

The Third request was for a program that the lab runs, instead of picking a needy family in the community, everyone in the lab chips in and helps three or four families in need in lab. First of all, I'm sure I'm the poorest family in the lab, I have the lowest paying job in the lab and have three mouths to feed, Everyone else that works with me has a spouse that works. Secondly, I think the pathologists that make $300,000 a year can pick up this tab, 6 of the 8 are single, and the other two are married to one another without kids, you know they're rolling in dough, How dare they even ask me to "Dig deep this year", because it's a tight year for everyone.

The last thing I'm going to bitch about today is the mismanagement of funds here in our lab. There's an ongoing rivalry between the first and second shifts, The first shift hates us because we're given a shift differential of $2.00 an hour more than our base pay, We hate first shift because, They leave us work they should have completed some days, and on other days they stay to finish work, eating up overtime, forcing managers to cut hours for other people. My hours are secure because I'm one of the few full time employees, I split my time between several different sections so it'd be impossible for them to cut my hours, What management has proposed is that we send people home from second shift early to save money.

I'm pissed off for two reasons, There is an equal workload on each shift, but They have twice the people, Secondly, They only eat up overtime because they take too many breaks during the day, they're given a 30 min breakfast break, a 30 min lunch break and another 15 min break. I get one 30 minute break, that is if I have time to take it, this time is automatically deducted from my paycheck and it takes an act of God to correct it with payroll. Basically if first shift had more people like me, as opposed to lazy old women, the work would get done in plenty of times and you wouldn't have to take money from the pockets of part time employees.

By the way, I have a friend who accidentally got two wii's this holiday season, he and he dad both waited in line and somehow they both got one, and they're looking to sell it, if you need a wii hit me up and I'll see how much they want for it.

Happy holidays, and remember hay-zoos (Jesus) would want you to have a good time and get bombed at his b-day.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

More Drama... So what's new?

The stupidest fucking thing just happened to me. My wife thinks we have a shit ton more problems than we really do and she also thinks I've cheated on her. I'm the type of guy that wouldn't cheat on anyone. I was cheated on while I was in Iraq, and frankly I don't care enough about anyone or anything to live a lie. I'd leave someone before I'd cheat on them.

All these new accusations stem from an IM conversations I had with a friend from Utah. I'll give you a little backstory. This girl had been dating this guy for about five years and left a stable home life and great job to live with him in California so that he could pursue a teaching/coaching career. I guess Things have turned south. Evidently they're on a break but she's still living in his home. I don't know every detail but it seems a little messed up to me. It sounds like there's another woman in the picture that he wants to feel out but doesn't want to eliminate the possibility of staying with his girlfriend. In other words, She's his fall back girl/plan. I understand the theory well, I've pulled the same asshole stunt many a time.

I started talking this girl through all of her options and none of them frankly sound all that appealing. I also made a pretty vain attempt at making her feel better. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's ever done this, but I exaggerated my own problems to try and make her feel better about the fucked up situation she was in. I wrote that my relationship could fall apart at any moment. I also wrote things about me cheating oh my girlfriend so that I'd sound like a bigger ass than her boyfriend so that she'd be able to reevaluate things a little more clearly. Like I said I know I'm not the only person to ever use this strategy with a friend.

Somehow, someway, she came across the transcript from this IM conversation. Frankly, I'm a little pissed, it's kind of a violation of my privacy, I don't snoop through her messages, I don't care that she keeps in touch with random guys, it doesn't bother me. Maybe I'm just a little more secure. Maybe I feel as though trust is important. All I know is that I'm pissed. I think I have a right to be, maybe I don't, regardless, I'm still pissed.

If I were going to leave, It'd be pretty damned obvious, I don't beat around the bush, I'm not shy, I'm not passive aggressive. I'd just be gone. Do I have a right to be upset? does She? I think the biggest thing that upsets me is; she's passive aggressive, She won't really tell me how she feels, she'll just be a little brat, and do things like wake me up to say "So you've cheated on me at least four times huh?" then sleepily I'll reply "huh?" not remembering the conversation from the previous night. She'll say "You know exactly what I mean." Then she'll walk out the door making a big show of leaving her ring on the nightstand, then come back for it ten minutes later when she has to go somewhere because, of course, she can't be seen in public with a child and no ring.

She's so fucking simple minded sometimes. I think all the problems I exaggerated may have just turned in to real problems. I don't know how much shit I can deal with, I really do love her, and I love my son more than anything in the world, but I'm not a problem solver in relationships, I run away, I find something new. If the issues are more than just superficial problems, I can't deal with them, It's not the way I am programmed, and it's not the way I roll. It's so much easier to just say, sure you're right, have a nice life alone.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Liberty dollars

I realize that I'm going to sound like a complete lunatic for writing this, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm not some left wing nut I just think that this idea is soundly reasonable.

For those of you that haven't heard, There is an alternative currency in the U.S. it's called The Liberty Dollar. Go ahead and click on the link, I don't really have the time or the expertise to explain the whole system to you. Done reading? The principle of having a dollar that is actually backed by a measurable amount of gold, that can only appreciate in value seems like a pretty solid idea to me. I know you think I've gone off the deep end but I haven't.

I briefly touched on my issues with our economic system two posts ago when I mentioned rising inflation and the ratio of money the government is spending as opposed to how much we're receiving in tax allocations. It seems silly that we print more money, but don't acquire any gold or silver to back it. Pretty soon, the U.S. dollar will be worth about as much as the Yen.

Do you remember when gas was less than a dollar and penny candy was a penny? I think the rise in prices has less to do with foreign dependency on oil and greedy executives, as it does the devaluing of the dollar. Think about how much money the war in Iraq is costing us, then compare how much money we brought in, in taxes last year. I don't think it all adds up to well, There has been too much "creative math" in the last 50 or so years to make everything add up. I'm just not okay with it anymore.

The government has decided that the liberty dollar is illegal, charges have been filed for counterfeiting money. This bothers me, What's the point of capitalism without the benefit of competition, at the very least I hope our treasury department looks at it like a wake up call and realizes there is a problem.

On a side note: PTBG was allowed to train the new girl, whom I haven't referenced yet. It was damned hilarious. I've never heard so many "Like"'s, "Whatever"'s and "oh my gosh"'s. The first day I met the new girl, without having said a word to her, I knew I wouldn't like her. She's ditzy and skittish, she seems to be afraid of her job. I'm not okay with that. All in all I can't hate her though, she has a great rack, at least I get to stare. I'll get over my dislike by not talking to her. You can't hate someone you don't talk to right? Especially if they're hot. So much for first impressions.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Ghetto fabulous

I know I've written about this several times, but obviously I need to say this again. I HATE people who use/abuse welfare.

I was in the grocery store the other day and in the checkout line. I was chit chatting with my wife, but trying to sneak a peek at the very attractive woman in front of me. I don't know why, but I find the "high mantinence" chicks extremely attractive. I see nothing wrong with the girls that get all dolled up to go to the store. She was carrying a $800 hand bag and was wearing manolo blahniks. They're really expensive fucking shoes, they probably cost what I make in a month. Don't ask why I even know what they are.

I start talking to her because she was there with her son who was about the same age as mine, and because we were both purchasing the same beer. I know it's a lame excuse. My wife was busy entertaining our little boy so I needed someone to talk to. Grocery store girl tells me that she's a waitress at Denny's and her husband works for a local landscaper cutting grass.

The wheels in my head slowly start creaking. How in the hell can she afford the shit she's wearing waiting tables? I don't think her husband bought it for her, how lucrative can cutting grass be?

I also notice that she's buying only name brand foods. Buying name brand food has always bothered me. I adhere to the theory that for the most part it all tastes the same why spend twice what you need to, just because one company has a marketing budget. I kinda dismissed everything, convinced she has rich parents or a sugar daddy.

Later, I hear her tell the cashier she'd like to pay for her Sam Adams seperately. This seems a little funny to me, so I look up just to see how much she's spent. Her total was 206.49 and her cart wasn't even full, then, I look a little further down the screen and notice the words "EFT payment". She just bought all this shit with fucking food stamps but she can afford shoes that cost $2500 and an $800 hand bag. This is some fucked up shit.

I have about $150 left at the end of each month after all the bills are paid and we've done our grocery shopping. I qualify for food stamps but don't get them, I could also have the government buy formula for my kid. If I were to take government assistance I could save $800 bucks a month.

Unfortunatly, for me, I have something called pride, and a christian work ethic. I've given up hope for all humanity. I pretty much fucking hate everyone. Am I the only person not getting free money from the government? Where exactly does all this money come from anyway? I realize most of us pay taxes but if a huge percentage of the population is getting a check for more than they pay in taxes and others are getting back more money from tax refunds than they put in, What money is the government using for this.

Pretty soon people will realize that the money we have is no more valuable than monopoly money, the government seems to give it out at will with no regard for where it's coming from, or inflation. I realize this is a little off topic but seriously, where the fuck is all this money coming from?

I hope I never see the grocery store lady again, but if I do, I'll forget that my mother taught me it was wrong to hit women. I'll punch her right in the face, steal her shoes and send them to The charming hedonist.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Dr Drew and loveline

I was driving home from work the other day, listening to Love Line on the radio and Dr. drew had some general advice about long distance relationships. Obviously I'm not in a situation where long distance relationships matter to me because I have a Son and a live-in girlfriend. I know I've called her my wife here on the blog before. It's mostly because we as a married couple and I work at a conservative Catholic hospital. Work doesn't need to know I live with a girl I knocked up.

The caller Dr. Drew was talking to was 19 and vaguely mentioned long distance relationships. Dr. Drew didn't give him any advice specific to hie problem. Wfhat he did say, shook me up a little bit. He said that relationships in our teens are meant to dissolve, to date multiple people, and not to take your formative college years for grandted. What I took this was that early teenage relationships are basically practice for your "real" life. You also need your college years to form your personality, you're finally away from your parents and need to develop your personality as an adult.

This worries me because my girlfriend was 19 when she got knocked up and were forced into a relationship more serious than either of us were ready for. It was especially tough because we weren't even dating when all this went down. We were friends who made a mistake. I wish I could blame it on alcohol, but we were both sober. We moved in together because it was the only way I could afford to provide for my little boy. I wasn't making very much money (I'm still not) and can't afford all my own bills and child support. I can, however afford to take care of my son if he was living with me.

My girlfriend didn't get the benefit of these "practice relationships". What happens when she starts to resent me for not being able to have her fun college years. Does she leave me? Does she take my little boy with her? How important is it for teens to have these relationships dissolve. I know it taught me alot about life. It taught me that life is short, but so is my patience. It taught me What my buttons were, and how easily they could be set off. I learned that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Most importantly, I learned that no matter how hot any girl is; some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. What if she hasn't learned these very valuable lessons?

I wonder if there's a way to let her try to live life a little without moving out and telling her to go date other people. Would she still want to be with me? I'm on my second marriage and my priorities have changed. I'll never leave her because she's such a good mom. At some point in time "Good Mom" jumped to number 1 on my list of of qualities I find most appealing in a woman. Fuck, how boring am I.

I guess I expect help from some of my female readers on this. How important were your wild years in college in the formation of your personality and the formation of your priorities in relationships? What's the over/ under on her hating me five years from now for taking away that part of her life. What's the over under on her leaving me?