Monday, October 8, 2007

What not to say to women part deux

There are times that I've been incredibly lucky with women and incredibly un-lucky with women. The following story is a pretty good illustration of both times. It's amazing how, what you thought was a sure thing could slip through your fingers so quickly.

I was stationed at Ft. Bliss in El Paso and was in the middle of a joint project with a local blood bank. They were helping us with a study we were doing concerning filtering blood and platelet concentrates. I was the point of contact for the Army for this project so I was there practically every day. On my first trip over there I met their point of contact. Her name was Vanessa and she was everything I thought a woman should be. Super model good looks, plenty of brains and she liked my geeky profession. Before we go on, I can't just let you think this was just some hot girl, She was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on.

A week passed by and I was officially in lust. I couldn't stop telling all the guys I worked with just how damned hot she was. The trips to the blood bank started with me but quickly became two, three, four, until we were an entire convoy of men dropping of one unit of blood, just to see Vanessa. Needless to say, she made our work lives a little less productive.

I was busy with something else one day and asked another soldier if he'd run the blood over that day. He happily obliged. While he was there, he did something I thought I'd never forgive him for.

He came back to the donor center beaming with pride. He obviously thought he'd just done me a huge favor. He decided to pretend we were all back in high school. He gave my number to one of Vanessa's co-workers. I really don't know why he decided to do this. Basically my value dropped ten-fold. Suddenly, I was a loser, so afraid to talk to women, I needed a friend to pass my number through one of her friends. It's the old, I have a friend who has a friend who really likes you business. I might as well have kicked her in the shins on the playground.

After some thought, I decided I could do two things, pretend it never happened and hope she actually calls, or I can man up and apologize for my loser friends.

The next day I went over and apologized. She agreed that the stunt was a little lame, and thought I was pretty immature. We had a little laugh about it and I started to walk away. I got about halfway down the hall and she called out to me to wait up. She said "Are you kidding me?" confused I asked her what she meant, she replied "After all this you're really not going to ask for my number?" Me; Ummmmm....
She saved me and said "Well, do you want it?" holding out a piece of paper. Of course I accepted the piece of paper. I smiled trying to contain my excitement. I said I'll see you tomorrow and walked out. I'm proud I was able to walk away without looking like a retard because I was so giddy.

At this point I'm thinking, I'm so in, she obviously wants me. This is my example of how incredibly lucky I am with women. I am/was a reasonably attractive guy but she was way out of my league and whe was practically begging me to take her number.

That night I broke the unwritten rule that you should never call the same day. I was leaving for Arizona in the morning for about a week and I wanted to make sure I got to go out with her before that. I give her a call and she says she's free, She even sounds excited about going out with me. I tell her to meet me at the Mesa street bar and grill I get there before she does. I'm only waiting a few minutes, My jaw drops as I see her step out of her Dodge Ram with a 6 inch lift. I don't know why chicks in big trucks are hot, but they are. She's wearing this little black dress that fits her form perfectly, leaving just enough to the imagination. She did a quick twirl and asked "You like?" I didn't say anything but there were a few dirty thoughts going through my head.

We go inside and are seated quickly. While we're waiting for our food I notice every guy in the place glancing over at her. It's so nice to know you're with the hottest girl in the room. Things were going perfectly, she was giving off a great vibe, she was twirling her hair and nervously playing with her straw. I was sure I was in. I started making a little small talk. This is the conversation I regret to this day.

Me: "I know this sounds a little weird but it's nice to finally go out with a hot white girl in El Paso. The Hispanic girls just don't seem to like me."

Her: "You realize that my last name is Gonzalez, right?"

At this point my heart sunk. All of her expressions changed. She gave me eyes that let me know I wasn't going getting any from her... ever. I kinda quit listening after this point but she went on to chastise me for something. and explain that Mexicans in the southern part of Mexico have blonde hair and blue eyes, like her, and that they take more after their spanish decent rather than the native Mexican. My shot to hook up with this amazing girl went right out the window because of one stupid statement. I think this pretty well illustrates how un-lucky I can be with women as well. Just as a point of reference don't ever bring up race, in any way on a date.

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