Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Plaxico Burress of the midwest

Those of you who watched the Giants-Packers game last Sunday will understand what I'm saying a little better than those of you who did not. If you really watched that game you know that Plaxico Burress was the best player on the field that day. Every time New York needed a big 3rd down reception or Eli Manning looked like he was confused, the ball was thrown up to Burress. He is the reason the Giants are going to the Super Bowl.

You may be asking yourself why I'm pointing this out. I'm not a Giants fan, and I'm not even really a fan of Burress. I can, however, relate to him. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the Plaxico Burress of my little world. I'm the Go-to-guy, and I don't know that I want to be anymore. At work, home and even my social circle I seem to be the guy who gets stuff done.

During most of my life I've wanted to stand out. I've wanted people to notice. I'm good at anything I've ever wanted to be good at. Normally this sounds pretty appealing, just not to me. I'm at a point in my life where all I really want is to blend into the crowd. I want to do my eight hours of work, without any extra responsibility. I don't want to feel hurried and overwhelmed because everything seems to get dumped on me one way or the other. I want to be that guy in the cubicle that seemingly has no name. He comes to work on time, finishes his eight hours in peace and walks out the door on time stress free.

At home, I'm basically responsible for everything. I'm the only one bringing in an income, I seem to be the primary care giver to our son and I have to do most of the cooking, and if I want the house to be clean I pretty much have to do it myself. All so the wife can go to school for 24 hours a week at a community college. I just feel as though if I didn't try to do so much, maybe no one would ask anything of me.

I'm tired of being a standout. I want to be another face in the crowd, living my day to day life stress free without having to deal with everyone else's problems. Lord knows I have enough of my own. Do you know how screwed up someone has to be to want to go from being the man (without being paid like the man) to being just another guy? I don't know maybe I have multiple personalities, I sure do write as if I do. I can't seem to make up my mind about who I am. or what I want or what I should be.

Plaxico Burress probably doesn't worry about any of these things. He's paid millions of dollars to play a game I'm sure he loves and most dominant athletes are a type A, go-to-guy personality type. But I wonder if he ever feels like he's carrying the team, does he wonder what the hell would these people do without me there to catch that impossible one handed, tip toeing the sideline, sailing out of bounds pass. What would it feel like to take a game off? unfortunately I don't get to take a game off, or even a play for that matter, but I sure do wish I could.

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