Monday, January 14, 2008

Using religion to your advantage.

I want to preface this with the fact that I'm a much nicer person now, than I used to be. My wife, and alot of my friends have a hard time understanding what a dick I used to be. At work, people can see glimpses, I don't like things to awry. For the most part, I'm a big softy. Having a little boy has changed my life. I can't claim to have had any big Epiphany. I just decided to be a different person.

I was living in D.C. and having the time of my life. I didn't make a ton of money but I really only had to pay for my cell phone and dating. I blew money like I had it, and went through women even faster.

I found a little niche in D.C. an untapped reservoir of sexual frustration, Their name; Mormon girls. I've had alot of success with Mormon girls over my lifetime. I think it's because I can act like a nice guy without really being a nice guy. A normal skeptical girl could see through my bullshit, but these Mormon girls were naive. They didn't see game. They still believed in real love, big love. A street smart girl in D.C. would have laughed at my nice guy routine, but they ate it up.

Some small piece of every woman wants to have that one last fling before they get serious about their life. That's something else I had going for me. I was fun, attractive, smart and funny, but not marriage material. I'd be that guy you'd have lots of fun stories about wonderful dates, but in the end you knew you needed to settle down with someone more ambitious. In the case of the Mormon girls, a little more into God.

I met a girl, her name escapes me right now, who was a civilian at the hospital I was doing my clinicals at. She also happened to be a good friend of one of my good friends. It turns out she was Mormon and had a bit of a crush on me. I hung out with her a few times but nothing formal. While I was hanging out with her one night I got a phone call from
Heather and she's wanting to get together. Most people would either tell the other person they were busy or they'd blow the original girl off in some nice way. Not me. I saw the chance to get two girls in one night and went for it.

Things were progressing quickly with the first girl. We were in bed in no time. I wasn't in the mood for "Making love" it was her first time and I'm pretty sure she wanted it to be special. Because this is a family blog I'll leave out all the crude details and tell ya it was a two minute job. I stopped suddenly and told her I felt too bad. I felt like I was taking advantage of her. It just wasn't the right thing to do. I played it off like I hadn't gotten mine, but I did.

I went to see Heather later that night and we had a good time. Not only did I get to spend time with both girls but I got to be the nice guy, the one that respected girls. In the End being completely selfish, getting mine, then leaving turned out great. She told all of her Mormon friends what a nice guy I was and that "respected a girl's boundaries". I ended up being the last fling for at least 20 of the girls in the Chevy chase singles ward in D.C. God really does bless those who use religion to their advantage.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"I'm the type of guy that wouldn't cheat on anyone. I was cheated on while I was in Iraq, and frankly I don't care enough about anyone or anything to live a lie. I'd leave someone before I'd cheat on them."

You posted that about 2 posts down. Hypocrite, much?