Tuesday, April 7, 2009

POO worms

I've pretty much given up on blogging but I may make an appearance every once in awhile. This is obviously one of those instances.

At work, I don't get to see most of the crazyees being in the lab and all, and not dealing with patient care (THANK GOD!), but tonight we got to deal with one, it made my night.

A lady in her 40's came into the ER about a week or so ago convinced she had worms. I'm not entirely sure why, but she was absolutely positive. My guess is that the Doc who saw her in the ER just decided she was bat shit cray and did an Ova and parasites work-up on her just to appease her. I'm fine with this, I'm sure I'd do the same thing. As expected we found nothing. no big deal right????

WRONG!, This bat shit crazy woman comes into the lab, just walks right in with a bag of shit in her hand demanding to speak to the micro supervisor because all of us were "obviously fucking idiots". It's 2 AM no one important is here. Oh well, I didn't get the pleasure of running into her first so I thought I was going to get to sit back and watch the show, but of course, being the only male, and a large one at that I had to tell her to back the fuck up, in some kind of authoritative tone. She was having none of it,

She was flinging around her baggie of poop and getting it perilously close to my face, Thank God those Glad zip tie things work so well. She was pointing out undigested plant matter in her poop saying that it's plain to see a worm, and asking how we could possibly be so stupid as to miss the worms, The worms that were eating her alive. The poor thing couldn't get any help if we continued to suck at our jobs and not see the obvious. She needed help alright, but not the variety I could provide.

What drives a person to be this crazy, Too much time on their hands??? who knows. I really never thought I'd ever have to call security working in the lab, but I did, and of course it took their happy asses about 70 bajillion years to get there. (70 bajillion is alot, in case you didn't know.)

Just to make my life that much better, as she was being escorted out of the lab, she took her baggie full of poop and flung it as hard as she could against the wall. Not cool, Good thing I didn't have to clean it up, I'd pick it up and fling it right back into her face, shit eating grin and all.

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