Tuesday, July 3, 2007

An actual phone call

This is a phone call I received while I was working last night. I want to remind you that the person on the other end of the phone is an RN, she's not supposed to be an uneducated idiot.

ME: ST. John's lab; this is Rob

HER: Hi, This is v, over at such and such clinic, I need some results for a patient that should have been completed friday.

ME: No,problem can I have her ID number so I can look it up in the computer.

HER: Well. I Don't need you to look it up in the computer I'm looking at the computer with the results right now. I just need them faxed to me.

ME: (By now I'm thinking "what the fuck is wrong with you") Ma-am I have to look up the results on the computer the same way you do in order for me to send them to you.

Her: NO, I just need a hardcopy

ME: Well if you're looking at the results on your screen, can't you just print them off? It will be the exact same piece of paper I'd have to fax to you.

Her: Well, they always fax us all the results and I don't know why it didn't happen this time (she seems a little annoyed now and I can't figure out why)

ME: Fine, I'll fax you these results but I still need her ID number so I can look it up the exact same way you are.

Her: You don't have to get smart with me, if you had just faxed over the results on friday when it was done we wouldn't be having this problem

ME: Point A; I didn't work friday. Point B; I have nothing to do with your results getting faxed. And point C; if you can view the results in your computer you don't need us to fax you those results. We fax results as a courtesy to clinics we have contracts with, that aren't on our computer network.

Her: Whatever, I'll just print the results myself, What if I didn't know how to print results?


The worst part of daily questions like these is that they never come at a time when you're not busy and you can just laugh it off. It always come when you're super busy and don't have time to deal with it. Oh, and one more thing. Our hospital has a policy that we don't release test results over the phone. Deal with it. A lot of times doctors will order a test and then schedule an appointment with that patient two weeks later. The results have been in our computer system for 2 weeks. Just because your patient is in the office right now, does not mean that this is an emergency. If you really needed those results you would have called and gotten them before you're patients scheduled appointment. If, as a patient, you ever have to wait for lab results while you're waiting in the office, it means that office probably has a horrible office manager, and maybe you should think twice about the doctor you're seeing, I know it seems a little petty, but if your doctor isn't organized or in incapable of hiring organized people you might want to think twice about using him... who knows where' you'll be on his priority list when you get sick.

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