I've already written about ptbg and the piddler, my last installment of the "coworkers" series will be about The girl who does whatever the fuck she wants. I can't really come up with a clever name for her so I'll just call her dumb ass (classy, I know.)
Dumb ass is dangerous because she looks very competent, it's almost impossible to tell a competent worker from a dumb ass. She always gets rave reviews from her supervisor for her productivity. She's completes tasks quickly, with one small hitch, She completes tasks in any manner in which she deems appropriate. She completely ignores established protocol, and becomes confrontational if you try to point out a problem with her work. The only way you can tell if your coworker is a dumb ass, is of you're the one who has to constantly clean up her mess.
You can quickly see why dumb ass is so dangerous. Other coworkers rave about the speed in which she completes tasks, buy you know better. Unfortunately, anytime you say anything negative about dumb ass, it's ignored because she supposedly works so proficiently.
Normally, you'd think that not following established protocol would be detrimental, especially in a medical lab, oh no..., not here. I come from a military lab background, there are standard operating procedures for everything, up to and including how to scratch your ass. This place is the most ass backward organization I've ever been a part of. The beauty of having a standard operating procedure, is that nothing goes unresolved for very long. Got a problem?... look up the answer. An s.o.p. sounds like a good idea... right? At my hospital, this is the answer I got whenever I questioned what the established procedures were. Oh, well everyone is going to do it there own way. Well that makes a whole lot of fucking sense! I'm kinda of a hard ass stickler about things being done correctly, and this attitude does not fly with me.
I'm not sure why, but it probably has something to do with my need for everything to go smoothly, but, I always end up having to be the one to clean up the mess from the haphazard way the dumb ass does everything. I don't like going to work and feeling like I spent most of my time cleaning up someone Else's mess. Especially when when I don't get paid the big bucks to do that.
Maybe I'm a little too organized when I go to work. Maybe I'm just a control freak. Or maybe, I'm just sick and tired of everyone else around me (save a select few) being relatively incompetent. I'd much rather answer a question about how to do something than clean up the mess after you fuck it up. There is a reason that we have a fancy computer system that you can put orders into, and it will spit out every little piece of information you could ever need to know about that test. We, unfortunately need these computers, because hospitals continue to try and save money by hiring under qualified people, and by shaving costs anywhere they can.
The one problem that I will never be able to solve or at least have some idea as how to solve is why the hell is health care so expensive? It's a lose lose situation, pay professionals less, and fewer of the top students go into those fields, hire under qualified yahoos and you get sup-par care. What can ya do?
Just so everyone doesn't think I'm just some egomaniacal jackass, I've give you 2 examples of how dumb ass makes my life harder. The first one is vintage dumb ass. She get's in such a hurry, that instead of ordering the correct test in the computer she just orders a misc. test and writes the name in the free space on the label. This doesn't sound all that bad except for the fact that when someone (namely me) catches this, they have to go back and find out what test was actually suppossed to be ordered, cancel the one she ordered, reorder the correct test, then submit the sample for analysis. It doesn't seem like a huge deal but that shit gets annoying when it interrupts you're work flow... I'm all about the flow. The second example I have really really really annoyes the piss out of me. Don't leave half-completed work laying around, amongst completed or non completed samples. The reason you have standard operating procedures, and the reason everyone does things the exact same way is so that when someone does leave a half completed sample laying around, you can pick up right where they left off and complete the task at hand. Dumb ass, has a bad habit of doing it any fucking which way she pleases, and leaving it laying around for me make guesswork out of it.
I honestly hope none of you have to work with this type of person, but I know you do. That's just how the world works. Sometimes I wonder why I work so hard and care so much. In the end I just remember two things a buddy reminded me of in the army.
1. "I don't get paid enough to care that much",
2. "I don't get paid enough to think, just do"